7/09/2007

HORROR STORY (WITH SHOWER)

I take a long, relaxing shower, draining my entire water tank. I get out, and grab my towel off the rack. As I'm bringing it to my face to dry off, I see a dark shape, made blurry by the water in my eyes. IT MOVES!

I jerk the towel away from my face and see that there's a HUGE, BLACK MOTH in my towel, and I just came within inches of french kissing it.

I scream like a little girl and fling my towel into the shower. The moth rises up, and flies DIRECTLY AT ME. I can see its tiny red eyes glowing with demonic intent.

Thinking quickly like a soaking wet naked action hero, I grab the latest issue of Maisonneuve off the counter, and swing with all my considerable strength. The Moth hurtles back into the shower and hits the wall with a pleasant splat, then slowly slides down the wall and into the tub, leaving a trail of black ichor the entire way down.

I utter some kind of badass one-liner like "Eat magazine you sonofabitch..." and then dry off with a new towel.

The End

4 comments:

  1. True badass.
    I think moths, the world over, should be fearful of the likes of you.

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  2. They really should. Not so much because I kill them but because of the badass one-liners I hit them with afterwards. THOSE are what really hurt.

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  3. that happened to me once...but it was a spider...and i had no badass one-liner to hit it with afterword...

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  4. If what you say is true, then you are a fork-tongued Godzilla.

    ReplyDelete