So for those of you who enjoy indie music and live in the Seattle area (or listen online) the last few days have been pretty dismal. KEXP 90.3, literally the only radio station that plays at least 40% quality music, is doing its yearly (or is it monthly? Geez) pledge drive, in which for every 1 song they play, we get to listen to 20 or 40 minutes of smarmy DJs asking, teasing, cajoling, begging, and guilt-tripping you into donating money.
KEXP is a "commercial free" radio station, their slogan is "Where the Music Matters", etc, so it's a little jarring to listen to them switch gears from the above-it-all DIY anti-corporate crusaders of radio to this sniveling talk-show of relentless, unabashed money-grasping. It just goes on and on. It's exactly like that homeless guy who overhears you and your friends talking about a bar or restaurant you're trying to get to and then inserts himself, gives you dubious directions on how to get there, and then just follows you around, giving you tourist facts you don't need and demanding money for the service. I can't listen to the station when they're doing this drive. It starts to make me physically ill.
Having said all that, I do understand that a non-commercial station needs donations to survive. If I had money to burn and if I cared enough about radio stations and if KEXP would stop playing their useless specialty shows of rockabilly and world music during my prime radio-listening hours, I would probably donate.
But wait--no I wouldn't. Because John Richards, the lead DJ and the one with probably the most annoying on-air chatter and worst taste in music, gets paid $90,000 a year.
Yes, that's correct. Paid entirely off public generosity, money from the pockets of thrift-store clerks, baristas, and broke musicians, this DJ is probably driving to work at his little independant radio station every day in a shiny new Mercedes.
I don't know what any of the rest of the staff there makes, and I hate to bite the station that just had my band live in-studio, but this seems way out of whack to me, and as I listen to the shameless pleading that's been going on for the last 4 days, I begin to get very irritated.
Why would you expect the poor to donate money to the rich? If KEXP doesn't meet their "Pledge Goal", what happens? Does the station shut down because John Richards can only be paid a paltry 80,000 this year? Maybe a public station that claims to be "where the music matters" should reduce their expenses to a reasonable level and stop guilt-tripping me for not donating towards John Richards' new home theater.
Allegations have been made that I am a miserable person. Apparently, reading my thoughts gives people the impression that I'm depressed. Sad. Never happy. Etc. This is not true. This is false. I am happy a good 40% of my life.
Things That Delight Me On a Regular Basis
Going through a car-wash.
Wearing the same clothes for several days.
Cocoa Puffs as late night dessert.
When I exchange lanes with another car on the freeway, swapping simultaneously, like car ballet.
The way my turn signal light and the one on the car in front of me sync up perfectly for a few precious seconds before gradually drifting apart.
When two Sea Gulls squawk simultaneously, at different pitches, making a perfect harmony.
Asian girls' hair.
My piano, Beatrix.
The feeling of my surreal semi-conscious morning state being charged with energy from a Starbucks Doubleshot can.
Watching someone run desperately down a crowded city sidewalk to catch a bus.
A sneeze that builds and builds and explodes orgasmically.
Dropping unwanted items out my apartment window, then watching people snatch them up like goldfish gobbling cracker bits.
My sawed, mutilated, spray-painted, glued, rubber-banded, duct-taped guitar.
Good, thick-cut bacon.
When it's sunny out and it rains anyway, like the sunlight was so thick that it condensated into bright gold drops.
A really quality bowel movement.
According to the info sheet for the new visitation case I'm starting, here's what I have to look forward to at work tomorrow:
May be under the influence.
Erratic and agitated behavior.
Irrational thinking and paranoia.
Drug induced behavior.
At first I was kind of nervous about starting this case, but then I realized...this pretty much describes the majority of my friends.