Sitting in Starbucks again doing a visit for my work. The mom is late. Me and 5 year-old Zooey are at a table, waiting, bored.

Zooey: You need to shave your beard.

Isaac: You think so?

Zooey: Your beard looks like the same as the rest of your hair.

Isaac: Yeah, I'm gonna trim it down today.

Zooey: You should shave your beard off and then shave your hair off too.

Isaac: Shave it all off so I'm bald?

Zooey: Yes, you should shave all your hair off so it looks like you're dying.

Isaac: But I don't want to die!

Zooey: (Punctuating each phrase with a sweep of her arm on the table) Yeah first you shave off your hair, then you die. Then you go to heaven and you become angels. And then you get smooshed by giant robots.

Isaac: I get smooshed by giant robots in heaven?

Zooey: Yeah.

Isaac: Wow. I don't know if I want to go there then.

Zooey: You have to.

There's an old guy sitting next to me who has cut a large hole in the stomach area of his sweater to provide access to his sunglasses. He keeps his sunglasses hanging around his neck, not on top of his clothes but under them. He has cut a hole in his sweater at the point where his sunglasses hang, so that he can easily reach them without having to reach his hand down his sweater. It's good to see crazy people innovating to make their crazy lives a little more efficient, without sacrificing any craziness.

Finally, I want to tell you all, that I have a musical project called Isaac Marion's Moon Colony, and I have just put out a nice little album you might enjoy. Soft, pretty space ballads meet crunchy clanky chaingang slave blues. If you'd like to hear it please go to


Thank you!


  1. so...are you bald now?

  2. Hi Isaac, I stumbled upon your Zombie story and really enjoyed it. :-)

    Hope all's well with you. Happy New Year!

  3. Baldness.


    I think this Zooey girl knows what she's talking about.

  4. I don't think YOU know what you're talking about, Brittany! Wait, what ARE you talking about?

  5. Hi Isaac, just to let you know that I like your Zombie story very much. Since I am from Bosnia and I was in Sarajevo during latest war in ex-Yugoslavia (4 years long siege by Serbs), I found atmosphere in your Zombie story very familiar and quite disturbing. Anyway, good job and I added your web page to my favorites. Looking forward to read more of yours stories….

    Yours truly,

    Probably first Bosnian fan :)

  6. i stumbled upon beach tyme romantics and then i became obsessed with reading everything on this website. I cant wait til i grow up so i can write stories on websites in between my mind numblingly dull job. Though your job probably gives you a lot of inspiration.
    i saw a guy in the dark in england wearing stilleto heels the other day. it just seemed so normal though.