I have no idea what's in here. I was young and dumb and probably problematic.
very good, as usual. some of his thoughts and reactions reminded me of ignatius j. reilly :)waiting for the next one..
The story was captivating - my heart is actually beating a little faster from the last few paragraphs - but what I really like is the frilly font centered on the door in your cover art.
That was excellent..
Nicole: HA! Good eye. I didn't say I was immune to trends! Although, it's not centered. I think to qualify it has to be frilly font and dead centered.
Hey. I stumbled onto your zombie love story, using the firefox extension StumbleUpon. I really enjoyed it, even though I didn’t like the second to last paragraph at all. Heh.I thought this story was pretty good too. I noticed a few things.“The building is of such a size that most units have five neighbors: one above, one below, and one on each wall.” Having six neighbors is impossible.This sentence is unecessary: “It is an unspoken rule that it is bad form to attempt to interact.” Try taking it out.The sister should probably be given a name since she is mentioned thrice.Try this instead?: “He arrives at the ground floor. The elevator doors open with awkward slowness, squealing as if they were in need of oil.. He is tempted to grab them and force them open. ““Harrison can't recall the last time he was down here.”Some unnecessary words: “but he can hear low, extremely slow breathing,” “his brow deeply furrowed”Harrison is still in the room when he “closes the door and turns away.”I think that “their” sounds more appropriate than “its” when the possessive pronoun is being used in reference to a person.Although I didn’t quite buy into this story, I enjoyed the writing. Especially the build-up in the first few paragraphs. Keep it up.P.S. I called you today. I don’t usually call people I don’t know, so I was pretty nervous. Also, sorry if it was a little late. I’m kind of an insomniac.
Wow David, got a lot of opinions there! Sorry you didn't buy into the story.I will just say, though: An apartment is a cube. A cube has six sides. Therefore, since he has no windows and a neighbor on each wall, he has six neighbors.Solve for x, show your work!
i know you said there were no windows... but he does need a door.:D
Well I'll be damned, he's right...5 neighbors it is.
Unless, of course, the rooms behind some apartment-dwellers are staggered or half the size (since they are just studios) so that there's one neighbor above, one below, one on each side, and two in the back. Ta-dah: 6 neighbors. In fact, if they were all staggered from floor-to-floor you could have up to 8 neighbors. So there! Don't you change a thing, Isaac.
the ending pisses me off a bit i'll be honesthahathose things with the mouths are cool...but noooo...you just had to leave me hangin wondering what the crap is going onbut its ok...i still love you
Sorry Chris! 90% of my short stories are cryptic like that... I find that explanations for surreal stuff are almost always disappointing, I'm more intrigued by things that aren't explained and you're left to wonder. Isn't that kinda how life usually is anyway?
If he never changed anything, he would never improve as a writer.And there is always room for improvement.