2/12/2008

SHARKBUS

I'm driving 7 year old Maddy back to her foster home, an hour and a half journey, and we get into a debate about what is the scariest animal.

Isaac: Sharks are pretty scary, but by far the scariest animal is the shark with legs.


Maddy: Sharks don't have legs!

Isaac: Right, sharks don't have legs, but sharks with legs have legs.

Maddy: But sharks don't have legs!

Isaac: Well I know sharks don't have legs, but obviously, sharks with legs have legs! I mean it's right there in the name.

Maddy: Well what's so scary about that?

Isaac: Well, sharks with legs are extremely scary because even if you swim out of the water and run up onto the beach, they can run out of the water and still keep chasing you.

Maddy: Well I'd just climb up a tree. One time my brother's dog was chasing me and I climbed up a tree to get away.

Isaac: Ok, that would keep you safe from sharks with legs, but not from sharks with legs and arms. Sharks with legs and arms are even scarier because they can climb up the tree and get you.


Maddy: Well what if I jumped out of the tree into an airplane and flew away?

Isaac: Well Maddy, the thing is, I know sharks with legs are scary, and sharks with legs and arms are even scarier, but there's actually an animal even scarier than any of those, and that is the shark with legs and arms and wings.

[Pause.]

Maddy: (laughing, incredulous) What??

Isaac: Yeah, because sharks with legs and arms and wings can fly after you even in an airplane. Those are by far the scariest animal.


[Long pause. Maddy is thinking.]

Maddy: Yeah but there's a kind of animal that's even scarier than that.

Isaac: Scarier than sharks with legs and arms and wings?

Maddy: Yes. The one that's even scarier than that is the kind of shark that can change into other things. Like it could turn into so it looks like a bus.

Isaac: (stunned) A Sharkbus?

Maddy: Yeah, it would look just like a bus, but it would trick you because it would really be a shark, so it would drive up to you and you know what would happen when it opened its door?

Isaac: What?

Maddy: You'd die, because you'd climb inside the bus but you'd actually be going inside the shark, and it would eat you.

Isaac: So you're saying any bus I see might actually be a Sharkbus, so every time I get on a bus I might actually be getting into a Sharkbus?

Maddy: Yep.

Isaac: Wow, that is…that is a scary thing.

Maddy: It's a scary world.

Yes, she really did say that, yes this conversation really happened, and yes it's more or less verbatim. This is why I love my job.

Also another good reason not to ride the bus. I mean…holy shit.



IT LOOKS LIKE DOMO-KUN.


Shut up, Blue Space.





18 comments:

  1. love the evolution poster! i think every school should have one.

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  2. Dang---the kid is brilliant! We're all doomed to die by sharks!

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  3. Beware, Isaac! Beware the devious Land Shark!

    http://video.aol.com/video-detail/saturday-night-live-season-1-land-shark/1415496980

    I once talked to a kid who described himself as "very outgoing" because he liked to go outdoors.

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  4. What kind of job do you have?

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  5. Akamai, I love you. Anonymous, I transport foster kids to visits with their parents and then supervise the visits. Good timez.

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  6. hey! i just randomly ran into your blog and found it hilarious. i guess a sharkbus would be really scary, now that.. i think about it a little more..


    nice blog! & you live in seattle? very nice, me too!; take care. :)


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  7. Issac:

    I literally 'stumbled' onto your blog. So glad I did. Your job seems completely wonderful...although I'm sure it has its horrors (haven't gotten to those stories yet if they're here.

    I found this shortly after I found your blog...maybe Maddy knows even more than we think...

    http://i254.photobucket.com/albums/hh86/1979semifinalist/image004.jpg

    Best,
    Kelly

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  8. Sorry - the link got cut off - trying again...

    http://i254.photobucker.com/albums/hh86/
    1979semifinalist/image004.jpg

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  9. hmm. I keep testing this image, it keeps not working. I hate photobucket. Try this if the others don't work for you.

    http://www.coolopticalillusions.com/
    eye-tricks/optic-pictures/shark_bus.jpg

    Barring that you can just search sharkbus on google images and it should pop up.

    I actually prefer your drawings, but still...

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  10. Semi-Finalist, your picture worked for me. And actually, someone posted that picture on the Myspace version of this blog, and I was totally floored. How is it that all the bizarre things that pop into my head already exist in reality??

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  11. All the bizarre things that pop into your head? But you said that Maddy had come up with the shark bus theory!
    Or is Maddy your alternate schitzo personality? hah.

    Anyway, about the question, XKCD pondered something similar in the following comic:

    http://xkcd.com/305/

    Different particular topic, but the basic premise; if you can imagine it, it's on the web.

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  12. It is scary just how perceptive Maddy is.

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  13. There is actually a Junji Ito manga about fish and sharks with legs. It's called Gyo. Creepy stuff.

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  14. A real live Sharkbus!!

    http://moulos.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/funny5.jpg

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  15. DD: A real Sharkbus!! I realize this is liiiittle bit late, but I just found this picture.
    So.

    http://media.fukung.net/images/475/blipp_1585.jpg

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  16. woa!!! amazing!! i just looking for a shark with legs and wings (really!) and i arrive here!! it's very hilarius(?) VERY FUNNY!!

    I want to translate and adapt into my blog. Could I?

    Jakeukalane
    my mail is t-u,s,c.r-i,a+t`u´r*a"s (at) gmail (dot) com (without any strange symbol of course: no -,.+ etc)

    ReplyDelete