Rehab is awesome!
Guess what, I finally moved into Second Phase! After six months, I finally get to go upstairs! Less rules, less restrictions, and no people walking around in life-jackets! The play room has leather chairs! They have movies other than TMNT! That one scary giant guy with the ponytail that looks exactly like Micky Rourke can’t get me up here!
The food is a little better too. Instead of hot dogs in slices of white bread with American cheese and maybe some Meth Sprinklins, we have some actually pretty decent hardshell tacos! On the down-side, the bathrooms are a lot smaller. Like, airplane small. Not much room to light up a crack spoon. I guess that’s probably the idea though.
Oh I should probably explain, I’m only in rehab because of my job. It’s weird, a lot of the people who get their kids taken away by CPS really like to go to rehab a lot! Difrent strokes for difrent folks, as they say. It’s not like I can’t relate… They just made me watch the new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to kill myself if I can’t run downstairs to Phase One and score some heroin to wash that taste out of my brain. Uhhhhh….my nerves hurt.