Things everyone wants for Christmas but never gets

Future technology (anti-grav boots, flying skateboards, pizza pills, etc)

Beneficial genetic mutations (vampire teeth, pockets in skin, cupholders, functional extra arm)

Video game machines that make video games go so much more awesome

Like a shit-ton of money

Gift card to that store in the mall that sells swords and knight stuff

Gift card to the bank for buying money

A world where everything is fun and people are made out of chocolate



  1. Isaac, it is comforting to know that I am not the only person who enjoys naruto porn.
    Even though I don't actually like the series.

  2. This is possibly the best Christmas list I've ever seen. Just one question... why the hell would anyone want pizza pills??? The idea of pizza is that it tastes good. What they SHOULD make is veggie pills so people can get all the nutrients without actually having to eat leafy green things they don't like.

  3. Anon: Naruto huh? I don't know, it was the first thing that came up when I googled "Christmas"...

    Mande: Good point. But what if the pizza pill actually burst into an explosion of pizza taste when you put it in your mouth????

  4. I got a Christmas card from a zombie! :D

    I'm surprised you have one of those weird sword stores in your malls too. I never see anybody walk out with a huge sword though :/

  5. Gift Cards to the Bank for buying money are called checks. Or Cheques.

    They usually come from Grandma.