7/30/2008

DINO DREAM - NEW STORY

A dream I had last night:

I am in the old house in Mt. Vernon where I spent most of my childhood. It's me, my brother, and an unknown character played by Seth Rogen. Suddenly and for no reason, we find that the whole city is infested by dinosaurs. We are trapped on this hill, cut off from the rest of humanity by the throngs of carnivorous dinos that hang out at the bottom of the hill. We stay here for a while, and Seth Rogen rigs some kind of a fishing mechanism that can catch fish out of the river from way up in our back yard. The smaller, harmless dinosaurs that frolic in the yard bump into this device and knock it off the cliff into the river. At this point we are mostly holed up in the house because dangerous dinos have been roaming through the yard occasionally. (One of those dome-headed ones rams the kitchen window with his bone head trying to get in, but the glass doesn't break.) The back door doesn't latch securely so I have to stand there at all times to hold it shut.

Things go wrong when Seth Rogen decides we're going to starve without that fishing machine, and goes outside to retrieve it. My brother goes after him to stop him. As they stand on the back yard deck arguing, I see a velociraptor ambling around the side of the house. I scream at them, "Guys! Get inside!", they run for the door but it's too late. Oddly, the raptor focuses all it's attention on me, ramming and clawing at the door instead of attacking Rogen and my brother, who are ALSO clawing at the door trying to get in. After a few minutes of this the raptor does finally turn on them and starts clawing my brother, and I realize I have no choice. I open the door suddenly and all three of them topple inside. It's the four of us---me, my brother, Seth Rogen, and the velociraptor--facing off in the kitchen.

I recognize that we're probably all going to die but I desperately yell, "Ok let's kill this fucker!" and tackle the raptor, grabbing it by the neck and trying to choke it or snap it's neck. The raptor catches my arm in it's teeth and as it bites me I hear a calm British nature-show voiceover saying, The velociraptor's sharp teeth cause third degree lacerations, severing his ligaments and rendering his hands useless.

I realize it's all over, and before I can experience the unique sensation of being mauled and eaten by a dinosaur, I pull the plug on the dream and wake up.

Oh and also, I wrote a new flash story.

"WILL HE...?"



Oh and also...the script is finished and we're in pre-production for SUNROOF.







Hold on to your seatbelts.







This is one option you're gonna wish didn't come standard....






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7/21/2008

Restroom Scenario

A scenario:

You're in a small, one-stall public restroom. Someone comes in and goes to the stall. They shut the door and immediately let forth an Orcish symphony of farts, squirts, plops, and grunts. You freeze, wondering should you be quiet and pretend you've left? Or should you make as much noise as possible to try to mask this excretory opus so they can believe you can't hear them? You decide on the latter. You aim your pee stream into the urinal bowl for maximum water noise. The flush buys you some time. You wash your hands with the faucets on all the way. You dispense paper towels with excessive force, you dry your hands violently, you slam the towel into the garbage and make your escape, shutting the door firmly behind you. You feel like you need to wipe your eardrums.

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7/19/2008

I'M MAKING A MOVIE!

Since literature is dead, I'm adapting to the times and making a movie! I'm writing the screenplay right now, but here is the pitch, in case there are any movie executives reading this. Let the bidding wars begin!

Film treatment for "SUNROOF" by Isaac Marion and Erin Thompson

JACK MCQUEEN is an ex cop with a drinking, smoking, and dead-wife-whose-death-he-blames-himself-for problem. After a string of brutal murders rocks his hometown of Los Angeles, California, he is called out of retirement to catch the killer because a bunch of detectives are taking vacations and the LAPD is shorthanded.

The killer is nicknamed "THE SUNROOF KILLER" because he kills his victims by reaching down through their open sunroofs and grabbing their heads with a modified car waxer with a claw instead of a waxing sponge. He grabs their heads with the claw then turns on the waxer, which spins their heads right off.

The story cuts between Jack and the Sunroof Killer, and we see in FLASHBACKS that the killer used to work in a car detailing shop, until one day he was working with a waxer and a car full of SEXY TEENAGE GIRLS drove by, two of them popped out of the SUNROOF and flashed him, and he got so distracted that he dropped the waxer in his lap and it TWISTED OFF HIS PENIS. Now he hates all sexy teenage girls, and plans to murder ALL OF THEM one by one for vengeance.

Jack eventually does enough ASKING AROUND IN SCARY NEIGHBORHOODS that he figures out who the killer's next victim will be---JACK'S OWN TEENAGE DAUGHTER, CANDY. At the time he figures this out, Candy is already on her way to a SEXY TEENAGER PARTY with some of her friends. Jack races to warn her, but he isn't too worried because he knows that Candy's car doesn't have a sunroof. What he doesn't realize is that Candy is riding in her FRIEND'S CAR, which HAS A SUNROOF.

While they are driving, a hand suddenly comes down through the sunroof. They have all heard about the Sunroof Killer on the news so they all scream, but then Jack's head pops in, and they realize it's not the SUNROOF KILLER—it's Candy's dad, Jack.

Jack climbs inside and tells all the girls that the killer is after them and they have to get to the police station right away. Suddenly they hear a thump on the roof, and realize this must be the SUNROOF KILLER. Jack has an idea, and orders Candy to close the sunroof so the Sunroof Killer can't get in. But the Sunroof Killer has INTIMATE KNOWLEDGE OF SUNROOF MECHANISMS from all his years working as a car detailer, so he knows how to tap into the car's computer and STOP THE SUNROOF FROM CLOSING. He reaches down through the still open sunroof and grabs one of Candy's friends' head with his modified claw waxer hand, and PULLS THE GIRL'S HEAD OFF.

As the killer is reaching through the sunroof again to grab Candy's head, Jack grabs the killer's arm and pulls him inside. The killer's face is obscured by a car-painter's ventilation mask, but Jack pulls it off, revealing that the killer is---JACK'S DEAD WIFE.

It turns out that all the backstory flashbacks were FAKE, and that the killer was actually Jack's dead wife all along. In NEW FLASHBACKS we see that Jack's wife was always very into Voodoo and Magik, so when she got shot by a CRIMINAL THAT ESCAPED FROM JACK's PRECINCT and fell into the lake but didn't actually die, she was so angry at Jack for ignoring her interests in Voodoo and Magik and not trying to find her body and resurrect her, that she decided to go into hiding for years, and then kill their teenage daughter for revenge. Jack weeps and promises he will take more of an interest in Voodoo and Magik, and his wife forgives him. Jack, his wife, and Candy all hug. We see them later all eating breakfast at home, and Jack reveals that he has quit drinking and smoking.

Fade to end credits.


"SUNROOF is a genre-bending mix of thriller, crime thriller, and suspense thriller, it's I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER meets I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER."


Casting suggestions: DJ Qualls (Jack McQueen) Zhang Ziyi (Candy McQueen) Ron Perlman / Catherine O'Hara (Sunroof Killer / Jack's
Wife)


Tagline: "DOES YOUR CAR HAVE A SUNROOF...?"

Tagline #2: "YOU'RE GOING TO WISH YOUR CAR DIDN'T HAVE A SUNROOF..."

Tagline #3: "SUNROOF!"

Potential sequel: SUNROOF 2: THIS TIME HIS OTHER HAND IS COMING IN THROUGH THE REAR DRIVER SIDE WINDOW

Potential Sequel alternate title: SUNROOF 2: SONROOF





Also, I have two new short-shorts up, just one paragraph each for your convenience.

STREET PUKE

and

AWWW...



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7/13/2008

NEW STUFF!

Hey kids....
NEW! STUFF!

First off, I've posted three new short-short stories.

"FOUR FAMILIES"

"DOTTED LINES"

"A SMALL WEDDING"


These can all be found on the totally new STORIES page, which has been totally revamped for easier and more visually stimulating navigation.

And thirdly, my graphic novel, Anna, is now available for pre-ordering, and features a sample teaser including the first 16 pages of the book.




Keep in mind I am only printing 50 copies of this book and I will NOT be printing another batch when these sell out. This is all there is, unless/until it gets picked up by Fantagraphics, so if you want one, now's the time to make the world a better place by supporting indie lit/art.

That's all. Enjoy.



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7/03/2008

7/02/2008

A Chase Sequence, plus "Isaac Updates"

Opening vignette:

Isaac is approaching street corner occupied by man with clipboard, hawking some kind of environmental cause. Man is seeking email addresses and donations Isaac can't afford.

Isaac's favorite coffee shop is on corner. He has been nimbly avoiding man for several weeks.

As he draws nearer, Isaac glances around and spots another passerby approaching from opposite street. Isaac slows pace, calculating scenario.

Passerby's speed ÷ Passerby's distance to hawker X diameter of hawker's attention range -1 mph = Correct Walking Speed for Isaac

Isaac holds back slightly, and just before Isaac steps into hawker's range circle, hawker spins around and ensnares Passerby. While Passerby struggles to escape, Isaac passes through hawker's corner unaccosted, and continues on to coffee shop.

Oh Passerby. If only you had paid more attention in Geometry and Physics.



Now a few little updates about what is going on with me, if you care. If you don't care, you can go here.

MY LIFE STATUS:

I have been taken on as a client of L.A based manager, Brooke Ehrlich. She has referred The Inside to a New York literary agent who she thinks will be interested in signing me. He's currently reviewing it, and I'm crossing my fingers that he likes it. If he signs me, I think there's a pretty good chance he'll be able to get it published. This is a pretty big deal for me, since it's the first time I've ever had professional representation, and the first time I've ever had legitimate industry people backing me. Exciting times for a starving broke-ass writer.

MY CURRENT PROJECTS:

I'm about to release a graphic-novel version of my short story, Young Ghost Anna. This is more or less the same story, but Sarah Musi has illustrated the entire thing with lush, intricately detailed ink drawings. The caliber of artistry she brought to this book completely took me by surprise, it looks amazing, and the artwork really captures the feelings of the story. The book will be printed on rich, art-grade paper, and is going to be beautifully bound in thick, textured watercolor stock. Everything inside will be visually arresting, from the old-fashioned print press font to the poetry-style text layout to the 25 full-page drawings and 21 mini-illustrations that accompany the story.

I'm currently working on combining the art and the text, then it's off to the printers. The book should be available within a couple weeks, then I will have pictures and previews up for you all.


At the same time, I am working on my next MAJOR project, which is a "cinematic novel" loosely based on my short story, I Am a Zombie Filled With Love. This new story involves an existentially frustrated zombie who captures a young Living girl during a feeding raid, and falls in love with her. Can this star-crossed romance find a way to bridge the gap between youthful passion and undead disillusionment? Life and lifelessness? Teeth and shotguns? Hmm.

(Note: "Cinematic novel" means a novel brought to life with photography involving real locations, sets, and "actors" instead of drawings)

More news to come as it develops!



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