3/23/2009

"Naked 15 Year Olds" -- A Scene in a Laptop Shop

CAST:

REPAIR GUY:
Late forties, easy-talking, confident electronics expert.

CUSTOMER:
Mid-forties, mouthbreathing man in awkwardly baggy clothes, visibly unintelligent.

ISAAC:
Twenty-something guy waiting quietly while his broken laptop is tested.



REPAIR GUY: (To CUSTOMER) Your power cord’s busted. I can get you a new cord for about 50 bucks.

CUSTOMER: What about those other laptops you’re selling? Are they any good?

REPAIR GUY: They’re ok, but yours is newer and more powerful than those ones. I’d just keep yours and replace the power cord.

CUSTOMER: How much would you give me for trade in on this one?

REPAIR GUY: Trade in for what?

CUSTOMER: For one of those other laptops you’re selling.

REPAIR GUY: (confused) What’s wrong with this one?

CUSTOMER: Well it ain’t working.

REPAIR GUY: Yeah but you just need a new power cord. I’ve got one right here, 50 bucks.

CUSTOMER: Yeah but how much would you give me for trade in?

REPAIR GUY: (frustrated) Well, I don’t know, 150, 200 bucks? But I’m telling you, you’re better off just keeping this one, it’s a better computer.

CUSTOMER: (distressed) So what happened to my power cord?

REPAIR GUY: It broke.

CUSTOMER: Why? What happened to it?

REPAIR GUY: They’re just cheap, you know? They’ve got 12 year olds making these things, they break, what are you gonna do?

CUSTOMER: Ok I guess I’ll take the new cord.

REPAIR GUY: Ok. Also I noticed you got no antivirus on here.

CUSTOMER: What’s antivirus?

REPAIR GUY: Keeps viruses off your computer. If you’re surfing the internet and you got no antivirus you’re like a naked 15 year old standing outside the dock bars when the ships come in.

CUSTOMER: (pause) What?

REPAIR GUY: I said you’re like a naked 15 year old standing outside the dock bars when the ships come in. Your computer is.

CUSTOMER: What’s that mean? What happens?

REPAIR GUY: To what?

CUSTOMER: What happens to a naked 15 year old on the docks?

REPAIR GUY: (flabbergasted) Well she’s gonna get sex!

CUSTOMER: (nods) Oh. So my computer…

REPAIR GUY: I’m just tryin’ to say your computer is vulnerable if you got no antivirus. They write viruses to look for computers without antivirus.

CUSTOMER: That sounds like it’d be illegal.

REPAIR GUY: Well it’s illegal to spray gang tags on my dumpster out there but they still do it!

CUSTOMER: Yeah but it seems like if they caught someone making viruses--

REPAIR GUY: Look, I’m just saying you should get some antivirus, but that’s up to you.
(Turns to address ISAAC, slightly under his breath) That was pretty good right? A naked 15 year old outside the dock bars when the ships come in?

ISAAC: Uh, yeah, seemed pretty clear to me. Good metaphor.

REPAIR GUY: Thanks.


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9 comments:

  1. That guy can't think of a better metaphor than that? Naked 15 year old? Nothing else in that bag of his for him to use?

    ReplyDelete
  2. It was tastefully crude and I did think it got the point across.

    I don't know, it would have gotten a laugh out of me.

    Also, I do believe this would make good notalwaysright.com material (is promoting other websites here against the rules?). Just a suggestion.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hah, he wanted a trade in! I would have said, sure, sure, just get out of my store.

    And that is why I am not in customer service.

    Oh, and I agree with the last guy, NAR material, I think.

    ReplyDelete
  4. We will always have Barry Manilow :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Uhm, yeah, it's like a naked 15 yr old at the dock bars when the ships come in. Except your computer isn't going to 'get sex', it's going to 'get f*cked'.

    ReplyDelete
  6. The laptop for me must to be efficient, quality and of course with a reasonable price. This is similar when i usually see to costa rica homes for sale i think is the best option in the market if you want to know a beautiful country and to a get a quality house. In the same way, you need a great computer if you want to get the better results.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Weird ! Why don't you guys check this for a better life

    http://www.slicklaptops.com/products.php

    Suits your home and office needs much better .

    ReplyDelete