Late forties, easy-talking, confident electronics expert.
Mid-forties, mouthbreathing man in awkwardly baggy clothes, visibly unintelligent.
Twenty-something guy waiting quietly while his broken laptop is tested.
REPAIR GUY: (To CUSTOMER) Your power cord’s busted. I can get you a new cord for about 50 bucks.
CUSTOMER: What about those other laptops you’re selling? Are they any good?
REPAIR GUY: They’re ok, but yours is newer and more powerful than those ones. I’d just keep yours and replace the power cord.
CUSTOMER: How much would you give me for trade in on this one?
REPAIR GUY: Trade in for what?
CUSTOMER: For one of those other laptops you’re selling.
REPAIR GUY: (confused) What’s wrong with this one?
CUSTOMER: Well it ain’t working.
REPAIR GUY: Yeah but you just need a new power cord. I’ve got one right here, 50 bucks.
CUSTOMER: Yeah but how much would you give me for trade in?
REPAIR GUY: (frustrated) Well, I don’t know, 150, 200 bucks? But I’m telling you, you’re better off just keeping this one, it’s a better computer.
CUSTOMER: (distressed) So what happened to my power cord?
REPAIR GUY: It broke.
CUSTOMER: Why? What happened to it?
REPAIR GUY: They’re just cheap, you know? They’ve got 12 year olds making these things, they break, what are you gonna do?
CUSTOMER: Ok I guess I’ll take the new cord.
REPAIR GUY: Ok. Also I noticed you got no antivirus on here.
CUSTOMER: What’s antivirus?
REPAIR GUY: Keeps viruses off your computer. If you’re surfing the internet and you got no antivirus you’re like a naked 15 year old standing outside the dock bars when the ships come in.
CUSTOMER: (pause) What?
REPAIR GUY: I said you’re like a naked 15 year old standing outside the dock bars when the ships come in. Your computer is.
CUSTOMER: What’s that mean? What happens?
REPAIR GUY: To what?
CUSTOMER: What happens to a naked 15 year old on the docks?
REPAIR GUY: (flabbergasted) Well she’s gonna get sex!
CUSTOMER: (nods) Oh. So my computer…
REPAIR GUY: I’m just tryin’ to say your computer is vulnerable if you got no antivirus. They write viruses to look for computers without antivirus.
CUSTOMER: That sounds like it’d be illegal.
REPAIR GUY: Well it’s illegal to spray gang tags on my dumpster out there but they still do it!
CUSTOMER: Yeah but it seems like if they caught someone making viruses--
REPAIR GUY: Look, I’m just saying you should get some antivirus, but that’s up to you.
(Turns to address ISAAC, slightly under his breath) That was pretty good right? A naked 15 year old outside the dock bars when the ships come in?
ISAAC: Uh, yeah, seemed pretty clear to me. Good metaphor.
REPAIR GUY: Thanks.