Respect the 2009 Boombox-Carrier!
A man so far behind the times, he's ahead of them.
He walks proud through the center of town,
Full-sized Samsung CD player in hand,
Rocking his jams of choice,
Choosing the choicest of jams,
So that we, the rest of the world, don't have to.
This is the man with the plan,
The man with the vision,
The man with the scraggle beard and sweatstained flannel.
No iPods for him, no Zunes or Zens or Gigabeats.
He likes his players like he likes his women:
Big and black, with deep woofers and nice tweeters.
He stands tall on the street corner, a rebuke to our era!
A reminder of the way things were!
He stands with a severe slouch, and drools gently.
We all dance as he shuffles past, sharing his love with us.
We dance not out of pity or mockery,
But because it's "Crazy" by Spears,
It's filling the downtown streets,
and to this we must respond.
No one sneers at 2009 Boom-Box Carrier.
This man has seen visions.
He's seen the future, and the future is not the iPod.
The future is a fifty pound "portable" stereo that runs on eight Ds
A brutal beast of a boombox,
Blithely blasting Britney at bewildered bystanders.
2009 Boombox Carrier gives us all a knowing nod,
and Carries his Boombox off into 2009.
He has made his point.