My new life

For those of you who either know me in real life or know of me online and are kept awake some nights with a vague, nagging concern for my fate, let me tell you what I'm up to, so that I won't have to repeat this story dozens more times in person until it's utterly lifeless:

1. I have quit my job. Today is my last day as a Visitation Supervisor. My new job title? Guy Who Writes Stuff. (It's going to be a few years before I can stomach telling people I am "a writer".)

2. I am getting my first major Writer's Paycheck next week, which explains Item 1, above.

3. I am selling most of my possessions and moving to Bellingham, to live the hobo life in a dirty old house with a bunch of young college kids. This is how I will make Writer's Paycheck #1 last long enough to bring me to Writer's Paycheck #2

4. This is going to be awesome.

To my Seattle friends, I must say I love you all, some more than others, and I will return. This Bellingham thing is more of an extended vacation than an actual MOVE, a chance to finally experience The College Years I was deprived of as an uneducated churchgoin' smalltown farmhand. (Yes, I am a Farmhand. I used to buck bales and ride hawses with Sam Elliot and the Marlboro Man.) Although in this case it will be more like the College Month, as I plan to move out the moment I get the above-mentioned Writer's Paycheck #2 and become a veritable THOUSANDAIRE.

Move to where? Everywhere and nowhere....A MOTORHOME! A BADASS 70'S GMC MOTORHOMEMOTHERFUCKER!

But more on that later.

For now, farewell Seattle! And Bellingham? Prepare yourself for for an older-than-median-age independently wealthy unemployed tall guy coming to crash your parties and drink your PBRs. Also, New York? Prepare yourself for another guy maybe publishing a book. And also also, Hollywood? Prepare yourself for an uncomfortable guy way out of his element. And Chiropractor? Prepare yourself for a guy who damn near broke his back nudging a little end-table. And yet life is good, despite all the handicaps.

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  1. Congratulations!
    I'm going to miss all of your wacky visitation supervisor-related stories, but it's fantastic that you're becoming a Guy Who Writes Stuff. Good luck with your move!

  2. Okay, so this is what my future is going to look like. I shouldn't be as excited as I actually am. :)

  3. You tottally deserve it.
    I'm from Brazil, and I tell everyone about you.

    The best wishes, always!

  4. Congrats, and best of luck! I'll help you with this new life the best way I know how: Buying every single story you come out with. I'm already planning on getting the new Warm Bodies.

    I hope it's not rude to say, but I hope being a Guy Who Writes Stuff won't cut into the fantastic short stories you grace us with sometimes.

  5. Hey, the Brazilian guy there didn't told me any of this. Isaac, you have no idea of how happy I am for you. Maybe I'm just a sentimental fool, but there you go. All the best for you. You are meant to great things. And lots of money, of course.

  6. I lived in Bellingham for around a year and a half or so. I loved it there. Miss it quite a lot.
    People driving down the Guide are idiots mostly. Chuckanut Drive is beautiful. And Lynden is terrifying. =)

    Your writing skills are amazing and you are going to do well. Congratulations.

  7. Oh, so that vague nagging concern was for you! I was wondering which Internet personality to blame for my insomnia. XD

    As hard as it will be, I truly envy you, going out there to live the starving artist's life. Mostly because I know, with your talent, the "starving" phase won't last long.

  8. no, you are the guy who writes stuff and gets paid for doing do
    writting isn't much of a skill and more but getting paid to do something is!

  9. no, you are the guy who writes stuff and gets paid for doing so
    writting isn't much of a skill and more but getting paid to do something is!

  10. http://chuckpalahniuk.net/workshop/essays/chuck-palahniuk

  11. Hey there guy, my name is Keith. you don't know me though we had a brief online encounter on myspace.

    I stumbled upon your site about a year and a half ago and enjoyed your work, namely the short stories. I shared your stories on myspace bulletins with my friends. They had thought that "I" had wrote them and I was getting a lot of attention, which I didn't like especially since I didn't write them, so I reposted the same bulletins with your stories and credited you and put in a link to your site.

    The whole thing was funny because I was attracting certain women with the stories who thought I was the author of. Funny.

    Well this is my first time seeing the new site, and it's good to hear you are doing good and that your talents are taking you places. Congratulations.

    P.S. don't worry about me posting your stories or any of your work ever again... even though they almost got me some pussy :D

    Take it easy man.

    All the best,

    Keyth Nyedo