9/11/2010

Douchevoice

I have just noticed something. I'm not sure if it's an accent, a result of genetics, or something more affected, but there is a distinctive male speaking style that I keep hearing lately. Actor Paul Walker has it. The guy who played Kirk's father in the new Star Trek has it. This guy hitting on this girl in this coffee shop I'm in has it. What is it?

Here's a couple videos to show you what I'm talking about:







For the moment, until further research can shed light on the condition, let's call it Douchevoice. I'm pretty sure we've all met someone who talks this way. The voice seems to be intentionally deepened, as if their normal speaking voice is too thin so they're forcing the timbre lower, further down into the throat than it naturally wants to go in order to sound manlier, which results in a weird, hollow, "I have a cold" sound. Douchevoice is also usually accompanied by a slightly southern, vaguely African American drawl.

I have no further points. Just another curiosity. But if you catch your friends developing this affected toughguy dialect, be sure to point out to them that they're speaking in Douchevoice, and help them return their speech to normal before they're lost forever in a downward spiral of doucheyness and end up dying alone on a spaceship being blown up by Romulans from the future.

7 comments:

  1. Almost like they're talking mid-burp. Sexy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ah, douchvoice. That takes me back. High school was full of these guys. And since they must use that voice to sit around and congratulate/reassure each other on how manly and totally not gay they are, I don't see this alarming trend slowing any in the near future.

    ReplyDelete
  3. My four-year old sister talks like this...

    ReplyDelete
  4. i think your "trying to be a tough guy" theory has some merit. the voice also actually has a correlation with their face shape, head size, and especially forehead/nose orientation and spacing. these kinds of guys have also typically played football or some sort of rough sport (their skulls can handle it better than average). so this could influence their voice, but also the arrogance involved with being a douche. i can educate you more on this sometime, if you can handle the sound of my voice

    ReplyDelete
  5. actually you see a lot of people doing this subconsciously when they're uncomfortable or insecure with the people around them. shy folks mostly.
    i used to pull this shit all the time and not realize it; it's a hard habit to break.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Not as new as you think...John Travolta talked like this in his role as Vinnie Barbarino...

    ReplyDelete
  7. We would like to add Julia Stiles to the list, please.

    ReplyDelete