8/02/2011

An insane man VS "Captain America"

My local cinema has an insane man working for them now. I walked in on a whim just looking for a movie to kill a couple hours, and as soon as I was in the door he hollered at me from about thirty feet away.

"WHAT MOVIE ARE YOU GOING TO SEE?" the insane man demanded.

I was confused at first. Was he an employee? He was wearing a Loewes Cineplex Odeon shirt, but he didn't seem to be assigned to the box office or ticket gate or any particular post. This insane man was just wandering freely around the lobby.

"Um, I'm not sure yet," I replied.

"SEE HORRIBLE BOSSES."

"Yeah...?"

"IT'S SO FUNNY. I LAUGHED 18 TIMES."

"Well, it looks like that started an hour ago..."

"OH, THERE ARE PROBABLY 20 MINUTES OF TRAILERS."

"Ok, well that's still...I think I'm just going to see whatever starts playing soon, if that's ok."

"SEE COWBOYS AND ALIENS."

I looked around the lobby for help or an explanation. What was happening here? The box office kids ignored the situation.

"I do want to see Cowboys and Aliens," I told the insane man. "But probably not today. And it doesn't start for another hour."

"FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS WASN'T THAT GOOD."

"Good to know, but I wasn't..."

"HARRY POTTER."

"I've seen it."

"HARRY POTTER."

"You know what? I think I'm just gonna see Captain America. It looks good, and it starts in five minutes."

"CAPTAIN AMERICA IS AN OLDER MOVIE, SO IT CAN'T REALLY BE AS COOL AS THE NEW ONES, BUT IT'S STILL OKAY."

"An older movie...? It just came out like a week ago. Surely you aren't saying you think it's an old movie because the story takes place in the 1940s...?"

"IT'S GOOD THAT ACTORS GET PAID SO MUCH BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO DO THINGS LIKE FLY AND TIME TRAVEL AND GET SHOT A LOT. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW REALITY WORKS."

Then the insane man moved backwards into his ticket gate and silently took my ticket for Captain America, tore off the stub, and directed me to theater #11.

I thought Captain America was pretty good, despite its handicap.

2 comments:

  1. I would have stuck around to talk to the dude...more interesting (and far less predictable) than any movie.

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  2. Don't mad people say the damnedist things? Damnedist isn't even a word!

    ReplyDelete