Dear Photojojo Company,

I recently placed an order through your website, Photojojo.com, for a macro lens attachment for my iPhone 4S. I received the package in the mail today, and was pleasantly surprised to find that, along with the lens that I purchased, you also included a small plastic dinosaur.

However, Photojojo, there is a problem with my order.

I am very much enjoying the macro lens attachment. It works exactly as advertised, allowing me to take very close-up photos of the objects that surround me in my daily life. Blades of grass, apple seeds, dead insects, fingernails, toenails, teeth, bits of discarded food, cola cans, rusty office staples, puddles of congealed fluid—any object, really. The photo attached above—a photo of a small plastic dinosaur lying on its side—was taken using this lens, and I am pleased with the results.

What I am not pleased with is the plastic dinosaur itself.

As you can see in the photo, the plastic dinosaur is lying on its side. This was the only position in which I was able to photograph it, because this is the only position in which it can be placed. To put it simply, Photojojo, the plastic dinosaur does not stand upright on its plastic feet. To put it even more simply, it falls over. To put it in the simplest way possible, it is defective, and I would like a full refund for my entire order.

I am not a lunatic, Photojojo. I understand that the plastic dinosaur was not part of my original purchase and was thrown in simply as a whimsical gesture because you are a whimsical company staffed by twee, frivolous, whimsical people. However, by including it in the package with the rest of my order, you have implicitly designated it a Photojojo product, an unlisted peripheral component of my order, shall we say—and as such, it remains a representative of your company and its quality standards.

Need I repeat, Photojojo, that the plastic dinosaur falls over?

How am I to trust the quality standards of your photography products after this fiasco with the plastic dinosaur? Will the macro lens attachment burn a hole through my iPhone 4S next time the sun comes out? Will it even take good photos? So far I have only tested it on the plastic dinosaur you provided, and the results were satisfactory, but will it fare as well on other small objects, such as denim fibers, Durex condom wrappers, or pools of bacon grease? How can I entrust the capture of my precious experiences—the birth of my first child! My child’s first steps! A UFO sighting! My child’s first erection! Aurora Borealis!—to a lens attachment made by the same company that makes plastic dinosaurs that fall over?

I anticipate no resistance to my request for a refund. But please be aware that as a matter of principle I will be leaving a negative epinion on Epinions.com regardless of your response.


Isaac Marion


  1. Have a lot of extra time.

  2. I'd be disappointed, too. Although, I probably would have ordered just the plastic dinosaur, without the lens.

  3. You could hold some sort of fan art competition with the defective plastic dinosaur as the grand prize :D

  4. you'd ordered a lens, they gave you the lens you wanted and it works as you'd expected it to.. if they'd sent you the dinosaur first, then you might have been justified in being annoyed at the company.. 'why have they sent me this toy when i asked for a lens? it doesn't even stand up, what are they playing at, i'm going to demand a refund and never buy from them again, bunch of theives they are' would have been a perfectly legitimate thing to say in that situation.. judging a product that you can judge on its own merits according to a completely unrelated thing, what's that, that's just childishness.. first time i've ever known anybody to complain because somebody'd done something nice for them without having to have been asked for it.. .. and i realize you like to use irony a lot throughout your blog, but i can't see any in this entry

  5. I continue to be puzzled and dismayed by people's inability to discern silly jokes from serious statements. Aspergers might actually be UNDERdiagnosed...

    1. I love your writing style. I also laughed my ass off while reading this. Thank You

  6. I'm thinking that many readers of this might have missed how firmly your tongue is in your cheek here! I'll have your defective dinosaur :)

  7. This is great. I, personally, would have opted for a replacement Dino-maybe it's his teeny arms that throw his balance off. Maybe a triceratops would have worked better.

    I adore your humor.

  8. Why are you so mean to the dinosaur? Just because it's not perfect. Are you perfect, dear sir? I say not! If you want people to accept you for who you are, then you should also accept people and dinosaurs alike for how they are made! I don't think Photojojo owes you an apology, I think you own Mr. Dinosaur one.