Send Me Stuff

Hey friends. I have a P.O Box, which is similar to a normal household mailbox except that it's at the Post Office instead of my house, so anyone interested in murdering, raping, and/or pillaging me will find themselves murdering, raping, and/or pillaging the Post Office staff instead. Surprise!

The reason I'm telling you this is that having a P.O Box allows me to open my doors to FANDOM! Is there anything you've always wanted to send to me? Love letters? Hate letters? Anthrax-laced letters? Letters laced with newer, hipper, less cliche disease powders?
N00d pix?
Severed toes?
Books or other memorabilia which you feel would somehow gain value from having the initials of a heating-duct-installer-turned-debut-novelist Sharpied onto them?

Send all these things and more here:

PO Box 31548
Seattle, WA 98103


Anything you want returned to you MUST come with a self-addressed, pre-postaged return mailer to send it back in. Also, I'm sorry, but I can only ship things within the US, as international shipping requires a whole lengthy process of customs forms and waiting in line and every time I go through it costs me 1 day of my lifespan. My apologies to all the beautiful people living in all the mysterious shadowlands outside America.

Also, please NO PERISHABLES. As much as I love your cupcakes and brownies and other poison-laced treats, I check my box rarely and they are always stale by the time I get to them.

Thanks friends. I look forward to reading your letters, signing your books, masturbating to your n00dz, and being injured by your mail-bombs.


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  1. Sometimes I really love you. Also, you should come to the East Coast. We'll buy you beer and stuff.

    I would write more but I'm being attacked by cats.

  2. Oh my Gosh, I think I love you but sometimes I don't. Mexico, so close and so damn far at the same time.

    Maybe I should kidnap you, throw you into my basement, put a chain on your ankle and make you write only for me.

  3. If I could actually get a copy of the book I would totally send it for a signature. And direct you to my n00dz as payment. ;-)

  4. For us International fans can you do www.authorgraph.com please!!

  5. Well...
    I thought I'd check out your blog since I want to read Warm Bodies before it hits the theaters. I don't read a lot of zombie stuff. If your book is half as entertaining as your blog, I'm in for a treat. Severed toes, huh. I usually don't stalk, but I'm drawn to highly inappropriate entertainment. Off to find you on Twitter.

  6. hiya, i was trying to find online what other books you have written and published. but i came across this blog! Im currently reading "warm bodies". My husband got it for me for early christmas present and im already halfway through! I wanted to read it before the movie. my sister in law loves everything zombies, she just turn 28 and we had a walking dead zombie cake and everything for her birthday. I admit, zombies is growing on me now, i think its interesting and fun to read and and watch on tv of course. I look forward to the sequel and read other books! What other books have you done? Anyway, Keep up the great work!
    p.s I think it would be cool if you added a zombie character that is deaf. I can totally relate to that, since i am deaf myself.

  7. No fair that we who live in the shores outside of the Americas cannae send you the wonderfully obscure delights!

  8. After reading your post all I can say is... I'm lost for words, but you made me smile.

  9. Agree with Jennifer, come to the East Coast.

  10. Your books are astounding and I <3 your sense of humor. keep up the great work.

  11. "Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women..." Apparently your writing elicits stalker-esque tendencies in females... Good luck with that.

    Just finished Warm Bodies. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
    I have gotten attached to your characters, so I eagerly await the sequel.

    In response to a previous post: J.R.R. Tolkien wrote a series, and it has endeavored through time and generations.
    Don't mistake quality and quantity, sir--but, don't assume that they necessarily have to be independent of each other either.

    Now to stalk... I mean follow you on your blog. :]

  12. i have just finished warm bodies and it was fab!! I would send you things but I live in the UK and i am a peasant so I cant afford it.. I will follow the blog and stalk you though because your posts make me giggle!! :)

  13. My copy of Warm Bodies will arrive tomorrow according to the incredibly unreliable tracking information. This means that I should be finished reading it by Thursday, maybe Friday. At which point I must determine what incredibly inappropriate thing(s) I will send with it as I ship it cross country for your signature. Do you have preferences?

  14. OMG this is why you are my new favorite author. Your humor rocks.

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  16. I posted my question before finishing reading your blog... was too excited! I will be sending my copy of "Warm Bodies" to your PO Box!!! YAY!

  17. Hello! It was so amazing to visit this blog and especially to read this article. I also wanted to ask you something that is connected with your blog. What do you think about guest blogging?

    just want you to tell that I really really love WARM BODIES.. don't know why, because it is a very very great novel... I love "R" so much... I want to know more about him.. his name,who he is before he became zombie...??????! I love the movie... BEST MOVIE EVER... you're a great author(you know that) I always think of the warm bodies.. weeks past but the movie and the novel still stucked in my mind. haha.. sorry for my english (I'm not good in english).. please please please (100x) Wish that it will be a movie again(the new hunger and the sequel) This is my favorite Movie/Novel ever..Thank you

    hope you read this...and
    hope the New Hunger and the Sequel will be a movie too,soon

    Thanks again :)

  19. You have a real talent for wow gold

    putting your thoughts into clear, original content. Your article is easy to read and understand. You have brought forth some

    buy world of warcraft

    really good points that I agree with and appreciate.

  20. I love you so much. It's very bad I'm from Argentina u.u.
    After all, it's very sweet that you're open to your fans, as a writer, it's very important


  21. I loves you! I have read Warm Bodies about 5 times and same for The New Hunger, I can't wait for the next book you write, beautiful books and beautiful writing.

  22. Today I read about your book and news in internet.
    the sequence is very uniqe and charming. So I want to know who is author and why he wrote this book and his another book to read.
    I was very shock bacause you are same age as me and this novel is your first book ever.
    This makes me very small. I mean depress....
    What am I doing?
    I cant' wait for the next book you write ^^
    from Korea

  23. Is your post office box open for business yet? I'd love to send you a letter and my copy of Warm Bodies for you to sign. :)

  24. Hey! I would really love to have my book signed, but there hasn't been any news lately.. maybe you forgot? Don't worry, I forget things all the time. Like sleeping. Sometimes I forget that. But at any rate, I still would like the pleasure of your name on my book, so if this is straightened out I am sure there are other people who would also send you things, too.

  25. Will your PO Box be open again soon? I've been collecting all these severed toes and anthrax-laced letters, but I can't stand the crippling emotional upheaval (and potential criminal charges) of having these precious items returned to me by the unforgiving workers of the postal service.